Hvernig væri þjóðfélagið uppbyggt ef körlum væri nauðgað í sama mæli og konum. Ef karlar yrðu fyrir jafn mikilli kynferðislegri áreitni og konur. Lægu þessi mál í þagnargildi, myndir leiðtogar heimsins funda án þess að ræða nauðganir og kynferðislega áreitni.

Ég er orðin svo þreytt að burðast með afleiðingar nauðgunar, mína nauðguna, nauðgaun vinkvenna minna, nauðgun samstarfsfélaga, naugun kunningja minna, aðstæður þar sem vinkonur mínar héldu að myndu enda með nauðgun, tali eldra kvenna um kynferðislega áreitni

Enn einu námskeiðinu lokið þar sem ég krukka í sjálfri mér, þar sem ég reyni að koma veruleikanum heim og saman, þar sem ég reyni að finna leið til að fúnkera í heimi eftir að vinur minn nauðgaði mér. Þar sem ég sit í lokuðu rými ásamt fleiri konum bak við luktar dyr að reyna að finna leið til að lifa af. Ábyrgðin er okkar, við eigum að finna leið til að lifa af þrátt fyrir að brotið hafi verið á okkur. Við eigum að finna leiðir, við eigum að vera svona og hinsegin, við berum ábyrgðin, það er okkar að takast á við nauðganir, í einrúmi, með réttum hætti, með reisn, fallega.

Afleiðingarnar eru ekki fallegar né er hægt að takast á við þær með reisn.

Þær eru ljótar, vondar, hrikalegar,

og

kona fer að haga sér úr karekter eða ekki

borðar of mikið, fer ekki út, sefur mikið hjá, fær fullkomnunaráruttu, þráhyggju, kvíða, þunglyndi, missir tökin á fjármálum, frestar hlutum, dregur sig í hlé, er á útopnu,

þangað til

að hún þarf að leita sér aðstoðar

aftur og
aftur og
aftur

og byrjar að krukka í sér, laga sig, horfa inn á við, hugsar að hún hefði átt að bregðast öðruvísi, ég hefði átt að tækla hlutina strax, ég hefði átt að takast á við afleiðingar nauðgunnar með meir reisn.

á sama tíma
á sama tíma
á sama tíma

heldur nauðgarinn sínu striki, konum er enn nauðgað, konum er enn refsað fyrir að tala um nauðgun, samfélagið neitar að viðurkenna að konum sé nauðgað í miklum mæli af körlum, samfélagið talar aðeins um að konum sé nauðgað en það talar alls ekki um nauðgarana okkar. Ungu fallegu drengina okkar sem nauðga vinkonum sínum. Okkur sem er nauðgað höldum áfram að krukka í okkar, taka á okkur sökina, passa okkur á því að nafngreina ekki vini okkar sem nauðguðu okkur, til að styggja ekki samfélagið. Það væri svo mikið sjokk fyrir nauðgarana ef við færum að nafngreina þá, það er allt of langt gengið. Ertu nokkuð viss um að þér hafi verið nauðgað? Hann myndi aldrei gera neitt slíkt. 

Fokk jú nauðgari
Fokk jú nafnleynd
Fokk jú samfélag

af hverju leyfir þú þessu að gerast?
af hverju leyfir þú þessu enn að viðgangast?
 af hverju má ekki fara í herferð til að ná til nauðgara?
af hverju má fara í herferð til að sporna við umferðarslysum drengja?
af hverju má ekki ávarpa hópinn sem er líklegastur til að nauðga?

   

Arthritis and my future home

There are two things on my mind

Arthritis

 

I still got it:( It has been five weeks since my daughter was born. While I was pregnant I went into remission. Only few days after I gave birth I started to feel pain again in my hands and having trouble walking. Therefore I had to go back on medicine. I was really upset by that because I wanted to breastfeed. Even though I'm taking medicine I still have difficulty with movement and still feel pain in my hands and knees. I hope by taking medicine and live super healthy life I will get well. The only problem is that even though I want to eat healthy food, I still eat a lot of crap food.

My future home

My husband is studying philosophy in USA. He has two years left. Which means that it is at least two years until we buy our own house. I can't wait until I have my own house and can buy furniture and nice things. Until that happens I just have to keep on dreaming about what I'm going to buy when that happens.

Arthritis pain and plans to get rid of it

In order to ease the pain and possibly one day get healthy and arthritis-free I'm trying to eat more healthy food and exercise. In the past I have made great plans that I don't follow. So now I'm trying something new.  I only make small changes and make short plans. I'm also going to write down, every week, where I feel pain and which movement I have difficulty doing. I'm hoping by doing that I will see whether there are any changes. 

I'm pleased to announce that I did follow the breakfast plan

I know it is not like climbing Mount Everest but I'm so happy because I made a plan and went by it. I'm going to repeat the breakfast plan for the next three days. I know now that I can easily do it. I'm also going to add a little bit with the plan.  

The breakfast plan

Oatmeal with banana, cinnamon and chia-seeds

Cherrios with buttermilk

Fruits and bread


Food plan
Eat chia-seeds twice a week

Part of me wants to make bigger plans but I'm sticking to small changes.

Where does it hurt?

When I first got arthritis the answer would have been EVERYWHERE. I'm not nearly as bad as I just to be but I still can't work and live normal life without pain and difficulties with movements. Lately I haven't been working on my recovery. I'm slowly starting again but I'm going to take it slowly. One ting I'm going to try to do this winter is to monitor better where it hurts. Is it getting worse or better? Dose my diet affect the pain? Am I better when exercise or not?

The red color marks pain and the purple marks difficulties with movements

Planning just a little bit

I promised myself that I would stop make plans. I always make to big plans which I can't follow. However I just couldn't resist. I don't what is the deal with me but I just love to make plans. 


This plan is simple: Eat breakfast

 The breakfast plan

Oatmeal with banana, cinnamon and chia-seeds

Cherrios with buttermilk

Fruits and bread

Big news

Last summer something amazing happened. Almost exactly one year after we starting TTC I got a positive pregnancy test. 

As you can imagine we are over the moon. Everything is going very well. I'm one of the lucky ones and the arthritis is so much better. Thank god for that. 

Fallegt

Step by step

 Week no. 2 (May 30-June 5)

Food: Stop drinking soft drinks

Exercise: Walk three times, swim three times

How did it go:

Food: I made some pretty bad decisions over the weekend:(

Exercise: I walked three times and swam three times

Plan for week no. 3 (June 6-June 13)

Food: Stop eat cookies and cakes

Exercise: Walk three times, swim three times

Three days!

On Saturday I let my guards down and just like that I drank almost one liter of coca-cola and ate ton of cookies. If I had been sensible that would have been my only mistake this week. But sadly it wasn't, it only got worse. It turned into three days of eating candy and drinking soft drinks. I dare to say that it isn't the smartest move when you're dealing with painful arthritis. 

so

I need to stop and start again

For 11 days I went by the plan and I lost weight then for 3 days I did nothing but take stupid decisions. Now I have to keep going and look forward and keep following the plan. I had made a huge mistake. Even though. it's important for me to look at what I have accomplished. For 11 days I exercised and didn't drink soft drinks and eat candy. Over the last 14 days I took more good decisions for my health than bad. 

But I need to do better next week

Why eat raw food?

I have been experimenting with raw food last days/weeks. I haven't turn completely raw and quite frankly I don't see that happening any soon. Because I like cooked food to much but I think it will good for me to eat as much raw food as I can. So far the longest I have been 100% raw is three days. Those three days I felt terrific. The horrible pain that is giving me hard time, completely went away. However after I swam in the land of sugar and wheat, the pain came back. Ever since that happened I have been trying to eat as much raw food as possible. I wish I had the determination to go 100% raw. Sadly I don't have it but instead of crying over it, I try my best. My best in the raw food world is always getting better and I hope one day I will be able to eat at least 90% raw food. 

I have been doing some reading about possible benefits of eating raw

• people tend to feel better 
• weight loss (aren't we always trying to loose some extra pounds)
• reduced arthritis pain and muscle pain
• eating raw means no cholesterol or trans-fats   

Blueberries

I eat a lot of blueberries. I love the texture, the color and the taste. I usually eat my blueberries by putting them in smoothies.

It is working

The scale today was 68,55 kg or 151 pounds

Step by step

When I got sick I thought it would be best for me to eat healthy food and stay away from process food, salt, wheat and sugar. I thought that after few weeks I would be come a healthy guru and wouldn't put anything inside my lips that weren't organic, healthy and good for my body. I got sick the year 2004, today is 2011 and I still struggle. I think it's time for me to give up! That is, accept that I will never become healthy guru that eats green smoothies for breakfast, vegan-raw lunch and small salad for dinner and loves every minute of it. I crave sugar, salt and unhealthy food. I also eat way to much food. Even though I'm full, I keep on eating. 

I need to accept that given the choice I will make bad choice for my body. So what can you do when you're not a health guru and just want to stuff your face with unhealthy food. Over the years I have tried variety of diets and "not a diet but a lifestyle change". I have been on raw food, detox, vegetarian diet, non-sugar diet, gluten-free diet. Some of the diets were actually pretty good and I felt better from the arthritis on them. However I never stick it out. It always end by me eating candy, cakes and drinking coke. 

When that happens I eat unhealthy food for a while and then I get back on the horse and try again. So here I go, again. 

Every time I fail, I try to do something different. The change I'm making now is doing simple things. I tend to swear to God that I will never, never again eat food with salt, sugar or wheat. At certain point in time I will only eat kale, spinach and coconut water. This time I'm not going to make promises like that. I think it's best to take it slow and steady. 

Week no. 1 (May 23-29)

Food: Stop eating candy and chips. 

How did it go? Total success. It was difficult and I wanted candy but I didn't have any.  

Exercise: Walking and swimming

How did it go? Total success. I walked three times for 40 minutes and I went swimming three times. 

Plan for week no. 2 (May 30-June 5)

Food: Stop drinking soft drinks

Exercise: Walk three times, swim three times

Exercise and Arthritis

It can be difficult to find appropriate exercise when you have arthritis. My first instinct when I got sick and starting to experiencing pain from arthritis was to stop exercising and rest. For several weeks I didn't exercise and rested a lot. I thought I would get better if my body would get enough rest. Sadly that didn't happened. So I started to exercise again but things had changed. What just to be good for me left me now in pain. For example before I got the arthritis I sometimes went hiking which gave me great pleasure. After I got arthritis, hiking leaves me unable to walk for week. Therefore it was necessary to find new exercise. It is very important to find a exercise that doesn't leave the body in worse shape then it was in before. I for instance have to be very careful of what type of exercise I do. If I would go running, my knees, hips and feet would cry for days. 

For me swimming has turned out to be the best exercise. In Iceland almost every place has a swimming pool. My husband and I are in Akureyri this week. The best thing about Akureyri is definitely the swimming pool. 

Few benefits of swimming

• good stamina training
• almost none pressure on joints 
• it's a exercise for the whole body
• excellent muscle training because of the water resistance 

Finally I have my computer back

I'm so happy. Now I should be able to start blogging again. 

It's been a month since I arrived in Iceland. When I came it was snowing, now month later it is still snowing. I do wish that the snow would go away and the spring would come instead. Apart from the weather it has been wonderful being back home. I love seeing my friends and family and spending time with them. Usually my husband and I go back in the fall but this year I will stay in Iceland for the fall semester but he goes back to Chapel Hill, NC. I will be living with my best friend in Reykjavik. So I have been busy moving and finding stuff for my room. 

So what has happened this last month in weight, arthritis and fertility.  A lot and still nothing:(

• I gained 6 pounds. I was expecting that. Every time I go to Iceland I gain weight.  
• I'm still feeling pretty bad from the arthritis. 
• I haven't gotten pregnant but we had our first appointment at fertility clinic in Iceland. 

I'm feeling positive for the summer. There's some things I need to focus on. First of all I need to loose weight. I have been all winter trying to get rid of these extra weight. Now I need to get serious and do what is necessary to loose weight --> eat less and exercise more. Second it's important that I do what I can to ease the pain for the arthritis. Third I'm going to spend the summer with my husband before he goes back to USA.